What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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