so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
