is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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