so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
