You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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