Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
