...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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