we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
