dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize