I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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