o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
