Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
