Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
