Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
