Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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