adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
