Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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