you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
