I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
