i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
