No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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