My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
