I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
