Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
