maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
