I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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