Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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