Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
