.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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