And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
