in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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