I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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