PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
