fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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