I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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