just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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