I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
