They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
