so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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