I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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