Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
COCAINE IS GR8
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