She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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