When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
