Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
