is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
