isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
