I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
