their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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