Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
