It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
