Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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