at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize