If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
soo... how was my night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
