Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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