Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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