So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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