it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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