i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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