You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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