This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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