Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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