16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
