He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
