I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
