I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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