that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize