I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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