Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
