Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
