New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
