A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dude. I can hear the air.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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