We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
