I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
