I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
