i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
